My grandmother and I were just sitting at the table talking about when my youngest son (now 12 years old) was born. Every time we reminisce back it seems so crazy. I don’t talk about his birth with a lot of people because I honestly got tired of the disbelief people expressed when I would tell them the story. Not that I blame them, I would not have believed it if it had not happened to me.
For about a year before my youngest son was born my first son started asking me “Mommy can I have a little brother?” I would tell him no but he would say “I WANT a little brother!” so I would tell him to go ask his dad who would also tell him no. This was a daily thing. Every day he wanted a little brother now. At the time this started he was just over a year old. Any time we would be out and he would see a baby he would point and the baby and say “Mommy! I want one of those!”
About a year after he had started asking for a little brother it was Friday April 14, 2000. I lived in Seattle and my grandmother had driven up to spend the weekend with us. Her plan was to take my son home with her Sunday and keep him for a week and I would drive down the next weekend for Easter to spend the holiday with the Family and pick him up. On this Friday we were at H&R Block getting my taxes done and there was a lady in the lobby with us who had a newborn in a carrier. My son would not stop staring at the baby and kept saying “Mommy, when am I going to get my baby brother.” To which he was told yet again for the millionth time “Sorry we are not having a baby brother.” He seemed very heartbroken every time he was told no about having a baby.
The next day April 15 my grandmother and I spent the day running errands and shopping, then on Sunday the 16th she loaded my son into her pickup truck and they headed down to Oregon. At about 10pm I laid down and went to sleep just about 1130pm I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and liquid went all over the floor. I was so scared. I went back into the bedroom and woke my boyfriend up and told him “I think I am dying I need to go to the hospital.” He was a jerk as usual and didn’t act very sympathetic.
Being new to the area, we had only lived up there about 8 months, and never having to had to go to the hospital there before I realized I didn’t even know where a hospital was. So I called 911 from my cell phone (I didn’t want them tracing my address on the phone call because I didn’t want the expense of an ambulance bill) and told them I thought something was really wrong and I may be dying and could they please tell me where the nearest hospital was. They asked me what was wrong and I remember I just kept telling them I don’t know something is really wrong please just tell me where the closest hospital is! They said they would have to have my address. Looking back I think it took them about 5 minutes to talk me into giving them an address. They had to promise me that they would not send an ambulance that they needed the address because they couldn’t tell me where the nearest hospital was if I didn’t tell them where I was. So finally I gave them my address and they told me that Saint Francis in Federal Way was the closest to me, gave me the address and directions.
I hung up the phone, I was crying, and told my boyfriend ok I guess I am going to the hospital now. He told me ok call me later and let me know what they said. I felt so upset that he was not wanting to take me and was willing to let me drive there by myself when I had spent the last 20 minutes saying I think I was going to die. So I walked to the front door put my hand on the door knob and stood there crying. Annoyed he finally gets up throws on some clothes and yells at me “Fine I will drive you come on!”
So we drive the few miles to the hospital he stops in front of the Emergency Room door and says to go in he’s going to go park the car and will be inside in a couple of minutes. I went inside by myself as he pulled off. I walk up to the reception desk and tell the woman behind the counter “Hi I think I am dying and I need to see a doctor right now.” very calmly and matter of fact. She takes my name and asks me if I am pregnant I tell her “No I am not pregnant I am dying.” She told me to go have a seat in the waiting area and someone would call me in a little bit. So I go sit down. I was becoming very uncomfortable and felt like I was suddenly going to wet my pants so I got up and went into the bathroom, tons more liquid gushes out and my pants are soaked. I began crying in the bathroom, but I hate crying in front of people so I dried my tears and went back out to the waiting area and sat down and waited there in my wet pants.
After about 30 minutes had gone by (and I was still alone, my boyfriend had yet to come inside from parking the car) I got up and went back to the lady at the reception desk and said “Look, I think I am dying. I need to see a doctor right now. If you can not make that happen then I need you to give me the name and address of the closest hospital to this one so I can go there and be seen more quickly!” She looked at me kind of funny and say that isn’t necessary and immediately takes me back to a triage nurse. The triage nurse has me lay down and she too asks “Are you pregnant?” “No” I tell her “but something is really wrong and I think I am dying.” She starts pressing on my stomach and then goes and asks another nurse to get an ultrasound machine right away.
I know at this point, actually at a way earlier point in the evening, it should have sunken in what was going on. I mean I am not a stupid person and I had had a baby before. But I was still laying there freaking out thinking I was about to die. Not only was some strange liquid periodically gushing out of me but my stomach was really starting to hurt. The second nurse came back in with an ultra sound machine and they lifted my shirt and began to perform an ultrasound. Within a few seconds one of the nurses said “You are going to have a baby tonight.” I began to freak out.
“What??? You mean I am pregnant? I am having a miscarriage?” and they tell me yes I am pregnant no I am not having a miscarriage I am in labor. I was in so much shock! How could I be in labor I wasn’t even pregnant before today. Yes I actually thought that. They were trying to calm me down and telling me I had to go up to the maternity floor and asked if I had come in alone. I tell them no my boyfriend brought me but he was parking the car. Even in my upset state of mind I know how absurd that sounded. I had walked in alone almost an hour before and I was still alone while my boyfriend was “parking”. They told me that if he came in they would tell him where I was but they had to get me up to labor and delivery so I could be helped.
I was put in a a wheelchair and a hospital band put on my arm. They had wheeled me to the elevator and we were waiting for it to open when my boyfriend walks up and asks what is going on. They tell him that we are having a baby tonight. He too was in disbelief and asked them if they meant I was having some sort of miscarriage tonight. When they convinced him no I was having a baby he asked them how far along I was. The nurse told us that since I had already lost so much amniotic fluid they couldn’t tell exactly how far along I was in the pregnancy but it was somewhere between 30 and 40 weeks and I was definitely in labor.
The elevator comes and we are taken up to labor delivery and I am situated in a room. By this time I was having full blown contractions and it hurt! I told them I wanted an epidural and was told they first had to send in a nurse to draw my blood before I could get an epidural. While we waited for the nurse my boyfriend calls my grandma’s house, I think it was about 2am by now, and when she answers he says “you better sit down.” which I remember thinking was hysterically funny since it was the middle of the night and he had woken her up. Then he tells her “Everything is ok and Jenni is alright but I think we are having a baby.” my grandma asks “What do you mean you THINK you are having a baby?” and my boyfriend tells her “Well we are having a baby.” It was all really surreal. My grandma agreed that she would wait until my son woke up in the morning and then tell him that I had a surprise for him and she had to bring him home. Later she told me when he woke up and she told him that he was all upset and kept telling her “But grandma we didn’t even get to mow the grass!”, he loved helping her with yard work and since they had just gotten to her house the day before they hadn’t had a chance to do any.
The nurse who was assigned to me and came into draw my blood was so mean. She kept snapping at me and rolling her eyes. When she was trying to draw the blood I couldn’t hold still because I kept having contractions and she kept slapping my arm and saying if you don’t hold still and let me get some blood you are never going to get anything for the pain! I remember telling her she was mean and she must not have any kids because how do you hold still when you are having bad contractions. She informed me she had several kids and it is easy and I needed to stop moving. Finally she got some blood and shortly later I was given an epidural.
The doctor came in shortly after I got the epidural and I informed him that my nurse was a bitch and was being really mean to me. She told him that it was just the pain talking and he seemed to accept this answer to my dismay. I was so irritated. Pain or no pain I know when someone is being mean. Really the doctor wasn’t much better. The nurse and him kept saying I must be lying about not knowing I was pregnant, was it because someone else was the baby’s father and I didn’t want my boyfriend to know? Was I on drugs? Being on drugs it what they finally seemed to decide was the problem. They told me they thought I must have a drug problem and they were sending for a drug test (which came back clean of course, I have never done drugs in my life).
On Monday morning April 17, 2000 just a little after 630am I had my youngest son. He weighed 8 pounds even and was 20 inches long. Yep he was a normal size full term healthy baby boy and I never even knew I was pregnant. I was supposed to be at work that afternoon and I carpooled with a girl from work. It was supposed to be my turn to pick her up. I called her shortly after my son was born and told her what was going on and swore her to secrecy. I wasn’t ready to tell my job yet. Then I called my supervisor and left her a message that I wasn’t feeling well and would not be into work that day.
My grandma and my older son (he was 2 years and 3 months old at the time) showed up around 11am. I still remember the nervous look on his little face when he walked into the room. Then he looked at me and saw me holding a baby and my grandma told him he had his baby brother. He stood there for a minute wringing his hands together with a nervous smile. Then he was so excited. He wanted to hold his baby brother. He had finally gotten his way.
The nurse put an adhesive up over my baby inside his diaper and told me that we could not be discharged until they got a urine sample to test for drugs. “Why?” I asked her “You already tested me and there was not drugs.” with a smirk on her face she says “Well drugs do stay in a baby’s system longer than their mother’s.” When he finally produced enough urine for them to test and it came back clean all I said was “I told you so, I don’t do drugs.” After I had proved them wrong with the drug theory the doctor was on a mission to get me to agree to have my tubes tied. I refused. He tried everything he could to talk me into it. He says “You said this baby wasn’t planned and you said you don’t want anymore kids so why would you not want to have your tubes tied to prevent another mistake?” I was pretty offended, but I simply told him “I just had a baby when I didn’t even know I was pregnant of course I am going to tell you right now I do not want any more kids. I am not however stupid enough at the age of 23 under these circumstances to make a major life altering decision of that sort. What if 10 years from now I do want another child?” needless to say despite the badgering to have it done I left the hospital on Tuesday the 18th of April without having a tuba ligation.
Another thing I left the hospital without was a name for my baby. They gave me 3 days to decide. They said at that point I had to call and give them a name to put on the birth certificate. For 3 days my son was without a name because I took the whole 3 days deciding. Most people have several months to make up there mind. It’s not easy to do it in 3 days.
As far as work went they had a policy that you could call out 3 days before needing a doctors note. So for 3 days I called every morning and told them I was not feeling well. On the 4th day I had to tell my supervisor the truth so I called in and told her I had had a baby. She was upset at first that I had not told them I was pregnant. It took some convincing but she finally believed me that I had been unaware that I was pregnant.
When I went back to work 8 weeks later word has spread about the girl who had a baby and never knew she was pregnant. I had a lot of stares and tons of people coming up to me saying “you’re the girl who didn’t know she was pregnant, tell me the story.” I got so sick of telling everyone and having to convince them that I wasn’t lying.
People ask how I did not know. Honestly I don’t have a straight answer. Yes I had a child prior to this so you would think if I were pregnant I would figure it out before the whole 9 months had gone by. All I can tell you is I honestly did not know. I did not gain any weight. I wore the same clothes throughout the whole time, and not stretch pant I actually wore jeans that buttoned and zipped, and no they were not tight. In November of 1999, a couple of weeks before thanksgiving, when I must have been about 4 months pregnant I had even gone to an annual exam at an OB/GYN in Oregon. I had told them I wasn’t really having periods and the ones I did have were very light and only lasted about a day. The doctor told me that meant I was reacting well to the hormones in my birth control, yep I was on birth control pills when I became pregnant. They did a urine test and blood test, obviously never checked it for pregnancy because they didn’t say I was pregnant. The Doctor prescribed me more birth control pills which I continued to take throughout my pregnancy. I also smoked cigarettes the whole time I was pregnant. I feel blessed nothing was wrong with my child and that he was full term and healthy. I am sure I did a lot of things wrong or that could have unknowingly harmed him.
Looking back, a couple of funny things had occurred while I was pregnant and didn’t know. First I often would get really sharp lower back pains. I always thought it was because I hadn’t drank enough water that day and would drink a bunch of water, this seemed to take away the pain so it validated my reasoning for the pain. For a long time after I came back to work any little pain I would complain of my coworkers would joke “Are you pregnant again?” The other funny thing that happened is that about a month before I gave birth one of the customers says to me “Can I ask you a personal question without you being offended?” I worked in a call center and people often asked and said strange things, so I told her “Sure. Go ahead.” She asks “Are you pregnant?” I laughed and said “No, why would you ask that?” and she says “Oh, I’m so sorry, it’s just that you are breathing like you are pregnant. Pregnant women breath different and that’s how you sound.” I never thought about that call again until several months after my son was born, and when I remembered the call it briefly gave me goosebumps.
Anyway that’s the story of my second child and how I never even suspected I was pregnant with him. After I moved away from the Seattle area and made new friends at new jobs I had I rarely tell people about this. I got so tired of the initial questioning over and over again I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I didn’t want to explain myself or the situation. So some people know some do not. But it is what it is and I can’t change it. I can’t pretend I knew to make people more comfortable with the situation and make it more believable. I did not know.
Now I look back and it seems like an amazing story and as I said I feel so blessed that he was healthy. He was the baby brother my older child had wished for. I believe that is why he is here. Right now they are in a period where it seems that they hate each other and will never be friends. One day however I hope they will remember the special bond of when they were small and that it was the faith and belief that it would happen of one brother that brought the other one to us.
makingsensefromchaos 