You hear horror stories from people about their mother-in-law. Bad mother-in-laws are the but of many jokes. Ok so I have never been married thus never really had a mother-in-law. I do have two kids, yes with the same person…I know for some reason that seems to be out of the norm these days since people always looked surprised when they ask me if my kids have the same father and I say yes. My kids grandma (their dad’s mother) has always been amazing and kind to me. She welcomed me and made me always feel like a part of their family even when her son and I were no longer together. She was this way from what I have seen with everyone. If you had to have a mother-in-law this woman would have been the ideal candidate, you could never have told a horrific mother-in-law tale about her.
Six years ago I moved from Oregon to Nevada with my children. Although during this time we didn’t have the money to come back to Oregon and visit I always made sure the boys kept in contact with their grandma. I too would call and chat with her from time to time. She honestly was one of the best women I have ever known and even though I was not related to her I loved that woman. I really wish I had told her that.
A few days before we moved back from Nevada to Oregon I had called Nannie (their grandma) to remind her that we were moving back in a few days and to tell her that I would bring the boys over the next week to see her. She sounded happy and said she would be so glad to see them. On Tuesday July 3rd less than a week after I had talked to her I called her house to see when would be good to stop by her house. Nannie was not there.
Sitting in a dingy chinese restaurant waiting for take out I was given the news that the day before Nannie had quit breathing and was now in the ICU. I hate crying in public but I cried there in that restaurant. I felt awful. I felt like I had just not gotten there fast enough. I knew that she had had some health issues over the past few years but every time I talked to her she always told me she was fine so I never realized to what extent her health was effecting her. If only I had know I would have made sure that the kids had gotten up here to Oregon sooner to spend in person time with her.
Unfortunately we can not tell the future. We can never predict how long someone will be there. I called the hospital and made sure it was ok for me to bring the boys to see her and find out what her appearance would be so I could prepare my children. I am grateful that the boys were old enough to get into the ICU unit. When we got there she was hooked up to life support machines. The boys and I held her hand and told her we loved her. I apologized that I had not come back to Oregon sooner but told her I was keeping my promise and I was there with the kids for her to see. The boys told her they hoped she got better soon.
After we left her room I talked to the nurse on duty. I know facts are facts but it is so disheartening to hear someone explain in a clinical manner that there is no hope. That a person you care about is brain dead and there is a zero percent chance of them surviving. It didn’t matter to me what that nurse said I still believed that she could hear us and that she knew I had brought the boys to see her. I had to believe that no matter what the nurse said there was still the chance of a miracle happening.
Nannie had a huge family. Many people needed her. She positively affected so many peoples lives, even those not related to her. She was not judgmental and would always be there if you needed to get ahold of her. I am not religious but I do believe in a higher power and I asked that higher power for a miracle…I asked for Nannie to not be taken away from her family. Unfortunately I guess there was a higher plan in play. Mrs. Nannie Penn passed on July 8, 2012.
My sons Prentice and Jaydon dressed for their grandma’s home going service.
I took the boys over to their grandpa’s house to ride with the family in limos to her service. I was offered a seat as well but declined. Even though I am actually related to them they still seemed to treat me like family as Nannie always had. It was a beautiful service yet very sad.
People say that we are just on loan to this earth until God takes us home. They said Nannie was such a wonderful person God took her now. I still struggle with this. My heart breaks for her family. For those that loved her. I was especially effected by my boys oldest sister. Her heartbreak and emotion made me cry more.
So many people loved this woman. She will be so missed. It is hard to imagine the world without her. I still feel guilt over arriving too late. Yes I tell myself that I kept my promise to bring the boys to see her but deep inside I feel like I am lying to myself. Even though I believe she knows I came it just isn’t the same.
RIP Nannie Penn
Again I wish I had told her that even though she was not my mother I loved her as if she was, that I appreciated how she treated me like family, her acts of kindness. May she now watch over all her children, grandchildren, and loved ones. My heart aches for all who have lost her. Those who never knew this amazing and feisty woman have truly missed out. Let this be my lesson to never take anyone for granted. You never know when your opportunity to let someone know what they meant to you and spend time with them will vanish.
Love you Nannie. I feel honored my children are part of your family.
makingsensefromchaos 