I am in the midst of moving. While going through some boxes in the garage to figure out what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to get rid of I can across my youngest son’s first grade daily journal from school. Reading through it he ended most of his entries with something being cool and/or fun. Cool and fun was a description he used of me in multiple entries. Proof that he viewed me, his mom, as both cool and fun.
He is now 12 years old. Last week when I went to drop him off with his Boy Scout troop to go on a the week long camping trip at Camp Geronimo I sadly realized I am no longer cool and fun to him. We had to be there at 4am so they could have everyone ready to leave at 430am because it is a long drive from Vegas to Arizona where the camp is. He was hard to wake up at 3am to get ready to leave…what 12 year old would be easy to wake up at 3am?
So while I was trying to keep him awake and get him to get dressed I decide to take his stuff to the car for him so we did not forget anything. Even though the drop off location is only 15 minutes away from our house I am a bit obsessed with not being late (I always have to be early) so we left at 330am, thus getting there at 345am. Since we were early he continued to sleep in the car. At 410am when the other boys started getting out of their cars he decides it’s time to get his stuff and get out of the car too.
First indication that I am no longer cool and fun…He gets out of the car and before he even opens the back door to get his stuff he says ok mom you can leave now…ummm No! I am waiting until you are in a car ready to go, all the other parents are waiting with their kids. Looking embarrassed that I want to stay he rolls his eyes.
He then goes to get his stuff out of the car and says “Moooommm! Where’s my sleeping bag?” What? your sleeping bag isn’t here? SHIT! I forgot the sleeping back on the dining room floor! Rolling his eyes in an annoyed voice “Mom you WOULD forget the most important thing!” That was the second indication I am no longer cool or fun.
I start running around trying to find an adult that looks like they are going with the kids on the camping trip and find two adults wearing the troop t-shirts and ask them where the person in charge is and am told he isn’t there yet. So I frantically explain that I forgot my sons sleeping bag at home do they thing I have time to get home and get it? “Oh no that really isn’t good…” they say to me in a disapproving voice…like wow who would forget their kids sleeping bag when they are going on a week long camping trip? Then they ask how far away I live….ummm like 10 minutes I tell them (knowing full well it is a 15 minute drive each way) you better go and hurry as fast as you can I am told. The whole time my son pretending he doesn’t know me.
So I tell my son I am running home to get your sleeping bag I will be right back! I promise I will be back before you have to leave in 20 minutes. “Ah man hurry up mom” he tells me in an embarrassed voice. So I jump in the car an haul ass home. Lucky for me two things seemed to be on my side A.) It’s 410am on a saturday morning so there is absolutely no traffic B.) Luckily there was not one cop out on my route home. I made it home grabbed the sleeping back and back in a total of 15 minutes (half the time it should have taken me) leaving me 5 minutes to spare before the troop was to take off. That still didn’t prevent my son from calling me while I was driving back “Mom….are you almost back?!” yes I was almost there give me two minutes…but was there any appreciation that I shouldn’t have even made it home yet let alone almost be back with his sleeping bag? Nope.
I get there with his sleeping back and he is watching for my car and leaves their prayer circle to try and get to the car before I can get out and embarrass him more. HA! I’m too fast for him I grabbed the sleeping bag super quick and jumped out of the car and get int he prayer circle with the rest the troop and parents and hand him his sleeping bag. He says thanks and takes the sleeping bag and then tells me I can go now. I tell him no I am staying until they leave to make sure he gets out ok. More eye rolls and him looking embarrassed. Hello? How would I look if I were to leave now when not one of the other parents has left? Sorry kid guess you will just have to be embarrassed for a little longer!
He takes his sleeping bag and goes to put it in the trailer across the parking lot where the rest of his troop have their stuff already. Then comes back over to get back in the prayer circle. He walks by me looks at me as if I am a stranger he is passing in a crowded mall gives me a head nod and quietly says “Hey”, yes, yet another indication I am no longer cool and fun.
They finish head count say their before departure prayer for a safe journey and then tell the kids to get in the cars they will be riding in and if they don’t have a car already then go talk to the troop leader to get one. I ask my son if he knows who he is riding with. He tells me no but I can go. No again! I am not going to leave when I don’t even know that you have a car to ride in yet. “Mom…..you do not have to stay I can find a car myself!” no I am finding you a car. So I go to the troop leader with my son who is visibly annoyed with and embarrassed by me. They find him a car to ride in. He walks away to go get in the car I say “Bye I love you” he doesn’t even turn around “Mom I am FINE…you can go…” yep I am definitely no longer cool and fun! Even a few months ago when I would drop him off at school he would say I love you and give me a hug. Those days are obviously gone. So with him safe in a car I finally get in my car and leave.
I am so sad. I just want to know when did I go from being cool and fun to being embarrassing??
makingsensefromchaos 